The Test

Last Christmas was a hard one.

My Grandma had just had her second surgery in one month and because of that we had decided to postpone our family Christmas by a week. Jared and I were officially "trying" and I woke up that morning so full of hope. I was POSITIVE that I was pregnant and I had patiently waited all week to take the test. I spent three minutes planning how I would tell Jared, how I would tell my parents, and most of all how to tell Grandma. I practically skipped over to the test...negative. What? That can't be right...checked again...negative.

Jared and I had quite a few obstacles (healthwise) that had caused us to delay trying to conceive up until this point and I was just so positive that all of that happened JUST so that we would be able to share our news for Christmas. I had built it up in my head like a dramatic movie...which I tend to do a lot...so when the reality did not live up to my expectations I was more than a little disappointed. I wallowed...and pouted...and did not feel the Christmas cheer I should have felt.

A few days later we got the news that Grandma would need ANOTHER surgery...a big one...a life changing one. I spent the next few days in shock and worry and honestly forgot about anything except for that. The day of her surgery I started to wonder...what if? No...the test was negative...but maybe? I went to the hospital right after work and stayed with Grandma for several hours. Finally around 9pm I got home and immediately grabbed one of the many tests I had stocked up on and shut myself in the bathroom...it was a very different feeling from the week before, no hopeful daydreams...in fact I am pretty sure I spent the time playing on my phone. After 5 minutes, I turned around to where I had placed the test and there clear as day was my positive. I was in shock. Then joy. Then disbelief. It was quite a mix of emotions.

 I KNEW I would not be able to wait to tell Jared so I quickly tried to think of SOMETHING exciting to do. I went and grabbed my camera and started taking random pictures around the house (why he didn't think this was odd at 9 PM I have no idea) and eventually of him. He was not happy about that at all and I so I asked him if he was still mad now and handed him the test.

So when my Grandma was probably at her lowest, when my whole family was feeling down, I was able to share the wonderful news that she was going to have her first Great Grandbaby. It was one of the happiest moments of my life and I feel like it gave her the motivation she needed to get through the extremely hard weeks and months that followed.

A few months later I was cleaning out my bathroom cabinets and I found the original pregnancy test I had taken on Christmas weekend...it was positive...I simply did not wait long enough.

I truly believe it was "A God Thing" that I did not wait long enough for the first test and that I got pregnant when I did. It gave our entire family hope when we probably needed it the most.