On Saturday August 31, I woke up around 2:30am to go pee. I had been getting up pretty frequently at this point so I stumbled into the bathroom half asleep until I felt a pop. I was 38 weeks so immediately I wondered if my water had broke. I did a mental evaluation and realized I didn't feel any different. Nothing that felt like what might be contractions. I went back to bed and started googling how to know if your water broke. After about 30 minutes, I woke Jared up and said "I think it might be time"...he asked what happend and I told him "I think my water broke". He said. "you think, you don't know?". Well..."no" I said. At this point he went back to sleep and I resisted the urge to hit him.
I continued googling and read that you should put a pad on and if it soaked through in 30 minutes it meant your water broke. So I did that and started walking all around the house trying to make SOMETHING happen. Went and checked and the pad was pretty wet but I convinced myself I had pee'd my pants...at this point I think I was in denial. Put on ANOTHER pad...commenced my walking around...this time when I checked it there was pink discharge. PANIC. That can't be good right? I woke Jared up and told him I still wasn't sure if I was in labor or not but I really think we should go in to get checked but that we would probably be home in time for me to still go to lunch with my friends.
Now I am not sure what the "normal" reaction to possibly being in labor is but mine was to take a shower, touch up my nail polish, clean the entire house, make hubby vaccum, put out Fall decorations, and switch to my Fall purse. It was in the middle of switching to my Fall purse that my water REALLY broke. I think Jared was in shock (not sure if it was from the reality that we would be having a baby that day or the mess on the floor). Obviously we started moving a little faster at this point and I began to experience my first contractions. It was on the way to the hospital that I realized all of the pain was in my back. Awesome.
Jared dropped me off at the door and went to park the car and I sat on a bench in the entryway where three people stopped to ask if I needed help (apparently I did not hide the pain well). Then I made Jared take this lovely picture:
They moved me to a delivery room and had me sit on a birthing ball to help with my back labor. At the last minute we had packed a heating pad and it felt wonderful. They had to take my blood and give me two bags of fluids before I could have my epidural. Let me tell you, it is really hard to put an IV in someone who is on a birthing ball and having contractions. After about 45 minutes they were finally done and I had gone from laughing and joking around to pretty much crying. I remember thinking that anyone who gives birth naturally deserves a medal because I was only 4 cm and was being a total baby.
Around this time my nurse decided to check me because it had been a few hours. About a minute later she said "O honey, you are around 9cm". Um, what? My initial thought was it was too late for my epidural and I would have to do this naturally and I kind of thought I was going to die. Then I thought, we are going to have this baby before anyone even gets here. She told me that they would try to get my epidural still but that the anesthesiologist was about 45 minutes out. I called my Mom (who was on her way) and told her "Don't freak out but I am 9cm and still haven't had an epidural" and then I think I cried because that is what happens when I am upset and talk to my Mom.
At this point things started getting hazy. I remember the anesthesiologist finally getting there and I barely remember getting the epidural (which is ironic because it was the thing I was most terrified about prior to actually being in labor). I never even saw the anesthesiologist's face because I was in a place where time and people did not exist. It was 9am, I had only been there three hours.
Once the epidural kicked in I was a completely different person! I was laughing and joking and thought I could have 20 babies at this rate. My parents got there and I was on cloud nine, my baby was coming, my parents were here, and I was feeling 0 on the pain scale.
The next two hours were more painful that I EVER could have imagined. I was convinced I was being torn apart. In our birthing class we talked about "traumatic pain". I mostly tuned all of this out because I was convinced that I would have my epidural so it wouldn't apply to me, but that was the best explanation for what I went through. It also didn't help that the on call doctor was the Jillian Michaels of OB doctors. She yelled at me and told me that if I didn't push harder I would have a C-section. She ordered everyone in the room to shut up. She told me "THERE IS NO CAN'T IN MY DELIVERY ROOM". I do not deal well with "tough love" and I was awfully tempted to just stop pushing at that point had it not been bad for the baby.
I don't know if there is a way to describe what happened next. I turned primal. There were screams. There was SO MUCH PAIN. Yet, at the same time, I went to a place inside of me where pain no longer existed and it was almost like this was happening to someone else. I just wanted him out of me!
The next thing I remember is pretty much everyone in the room saying "look! look!". In one second I went from the most pain I had ever felt to absolutly no pain whatsoever. I saw my baby for the first time.
"of course'. I instantly knew him. H
Jared cut the cord (am I the only one who was still a little scared that would hurt?) and I got to hold my baby...finally.
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