Newborn Essentials

1. Baby Trend Stroller and Carseat: We have been using this system for six months now and mostly love it. We have had a few issues with the infant car seat getting stuck but nothing major. The triangle handle is perfect for carrying with your forearm. We have just started using the stroller by its self and it is great.

2. Munchkin Foam Bath: This was perfect for when he was itty bitty and was only $6!

3. Boba Wrap: I found this to be much easier and snugglier than the Moby, we are still using it at 6 months. It is the only way I got anything done on maternity leave while he was awake.

4. Baby Hats: When Hudson was a newborn I ALWAYS had a hat on him, they kept his head warm and were adorable. At the local baby consignmnent store they sell them for twenty cents so I had to resist the urge to buy in bulk. Once he started rolling over they were impossible to keep on so I am glad we have lots of pictures of him wearing hats in his newborn days

5. Baby Gowns: I remember being scrared a gown would be too girly for boys...that lasted until his first night in the hospital when we changed him around ten times. The time will soon come when nighttime diaper changes are less frequent but until then Target makes some adorable Circo ones.

6. Carseat Mirror: Trust me when I say you will want this the first time you drive with your baby alone. I only checked it a thousand times.

7. Aden and Anais Blankets: I really thought that these HAD to be over hyped but I absolutely love them.  They get softer with each wash and they are so breathable I never worried about it being too close to his face. They work as blankets, burp cloth, and car seat cover. I got the "boutique version and the Target version. The boutique version was larger and softer but I was very happy with the Target ones as well.

8. Snugamonkey Rock and Play: This was my FAVORITE baby item. Our first night home I hated the idea of my tiny baby sleeping in a large bassinet and he apparently hated it as well.  The snugamonkey safely snuggled him close. When he would wake in the middle of the night a few rocks with my hand would normally get him right to sleep. I would drag it into the bathroom while I took my shower and then into the living room for him to nap in throughout the day. It is wonderful!

9. Halo Sleepsack: I highly recommend swaddling for the first three months. We used this and the Swaddleme and I preferred this as you could easily unzip it for diaper changes.

10. Burt's Bee's Gift Set: We have used the lotion, body wash, and diaper ointment from this giftset from birth and it is wonderful and smells like fruit loops.

The Newborn Days

One of the primary purposes of this blog is to document my life. Hudson just turned six months old so his newborn days kind of feel like forever ago, but I feel like if I don't put this in writing now I will soon forget it completely.

 

First of all, I remember being shocked that they just let us take Hudson home. Did anyone else have to diligently fill out the newborn sheet with the feeding and diaper changes? I felt like I had been taking a test since he was born and the fact that they were letting us leave meant that we had passed.

The whole drive home I was kind of in shock that he was ours and that we were solely responsible for him from the moment we left the hospital. The drive home felt like it took FOREVER.

When we got home we showed him around and introduced him to our pets (we have one dog and two cats) so that was all very exciting!

When we finally sat down and took a moment to breathe for the first time since he was born, Jared freaked out and I let out a sigh of relief. You see, while at the hospital Jared was a very good student who listened to everything the nurses would say and look to them for guidance. I was surprised to find out I HATED the hospital. I was determined to breastfeed and had done lots of research in advance. I felt pressured by multiple nurses to give Hudson formula and because of that I could not WAIT to get home. Jared felt lost without the nurses but I assured him that this part I could handle.

I can clearly remember our first night at home. I remember putting him in his guitar PJ's and swaddling him. I remember waking up every hour to check on him/feed him. I remember that we had not yet learned that newborns pee a little bit ALL THE TIME and it wasn't really necessary to change his diaper every time the strip turned blue. 

The next several days ere a sleep deprived blur as we adjusted to our new life.

At our one week appointment, our pediatrician told us that Hudson was jaundiced and that we would need to take him to the hospital to have his blood tested and that we would go from there. I remember holding it together all the way to the car and then bawling my eyes out because I felt like a failure as a Mother. How had I not noticed my baby was orange? Was I being so stubborn about breastfeeding that I was starving my baby thus making the jaundice worse? Then he had to have his heel pricked and I bawled again.

I spent the next 24 hours doing skin to skin, breastfeeding, and sticking him in the sun. I was terrified they would have to readmit him to the hospital or make me use formula. We had to go back to the hospital to have his heel pricked AGAIN but we soon got a call that his levels were improving and he would be fine.  Then I bawled because Jared was going back to work the next day. Poor Jared. That 24 hour period was probably my all time low.

The next few weeks were the hardest of my life. I wish I could go back and tell myself so many things: you WILL sleep again, premade iced coffee is your friend, there is nothing wrong with being in yoga pants 24/7. And above all, sometimes all you will accomplish in a day is feeding and loving your baby and that is OK.

I will be back later this week with my favorite newborn items!

How Becoming a Mother Fueled My Creativity

I NEED creativity in my life to be happy. However, my perfectionism often causes me to feel insecure in my choices. I tend to overanalyze the color of paint I choose, the angle of a picture I take, or what people will think of my decorating decisions.

I strongly believe, because of this, perfectionism and indecisiveness go hand in hand.

When I was pregnant I read book after book about parenting styles.  I read message boards to find out the most popular way to raise a baby. I wanted to know how other people did it.

Nothing could prepare me for the instincts I felt as soon as he was born. I combined all of the knowledge I gained and I threw anything out that didn't fit what felt right to me. I was amazed at the confidence I felt when it came to making decisions for our family.

The ability to let go of others opinions was very freeing and I soon carried this over to other areas of my life. Where I once tried to mimic the decorating or photography choices of others I now go with what make ME happy.

Instead of second guessing myself, I can be content with the fact that I find something beautiful even if nobody else does and therefore, even if I am the only one who loves it, that is enough.

Pinterest Favorites 2.0

 

 I think I want to do this to every window in my house!

 

My Grandma made a cherry pie filling dessert last month and now I want cherry pie everything!

I feel like this might get Hudson to actually look at my camera...plus it has a squeaker.

 GORGEOUS!

This screams Spring to me, cannot wait!

Hudson Jude Poole - A Birth Story

On Saturday August 31, I woke up around 2:30am to go pee. I had been getting up pretty frequently at this point so I stumbled into the bathroom half asleep until I felt  a pop. I was 38 weeks so immediately I wondered if my water had broke. I did a mental evaluation and realized I didn't feel any different.  Nothing that felt like what might be contractions. I went back to bed and started googling how to know if your water broke.  After about 30 minutes, I woke Jared up and said "I think it might be time"...he asked what happend and I told him "I think my water broke".  He said. "you think, you don't know?".  Well..."no" I said.  At this point he went back to sleep and I resisted the urge to hit him.

I continued googling and read that you should put a pad on and if it soaked through in 30 minutes it meant your water broke.  So I did that and started walking all around the house trying to make SOMETHING happen. Went and checked and the pad was pretty wet but I convinced myself I had pee'd my pants...at this point I think I was in denial.  Put on ANOTHER pad...commenced my walking around...this time when I checked it there was pink discharge. PANIC. That can't be good right? I woke Jared up and told him I still wasn't sure if I was in labor or not but I really think we should go in to get checked but that we would probably be home in time for me to still go to lunch with my friends.

Now I am not sure what the "normal" reaction to possibly being in labor is but mine was to take a shower, touch up my nail polish, clean the entire house, make hubby vaccum, put out Fall decorations, and switch to my Fall purse.  It was in the middle of switching to my Fall purse that my water REALLY broke. I think Jared was in shock (not sure if it was from the reality that we would be having a baby that day or the mess on the floor). Obviously we started moving a little faster at this point and  I began to experience my first contractions. It was on the way to the hospital that I realized all of the pain was in my back. Awesome.

Jared dropped me off at the door and went to park the car and I sat on a bench in the entryway where three people stopped to ask if I needed help (apparently I did not hide the pain well). Then I made Jared take this lovely picture:

At this point it was around 6am and pretty empty.  We approached the check in desk where I stated that my water broke so I was about 100% sure I was in labor and they put me in a triage room.  Ran through all my information and made me sign about a dozen release forms (WHILE contracting) and then we were finally introduced to our labor nurses who stated I was 4cm and they would be admitting me.  It was at this point that I started stating,  "I would like an epidural ASAP please and thank you".  That was about the only thing in my only birth plan..an epidural and to breastfeed after delivery.

They moved me to a delivery room and had me sit on a birthing ball to help with my back labor. At the last minute we had packed a heating pad and it felt wonderful. They had to take my blood and give me two bags of fluids before I could have my epidural. Let me tell you, it is really hard to put an IV in someone who is on a birthing ball and having contractions. After about 45 minutes they were finally done and I had gone from laughing and joking around to pretty much crying.  I remember thinking that anyone who gives birth naturally deserves a medal because I was only 4 cm and was being a total baby.

Around this time my nurse decided to check me because it had been a few hours.  About a minute later she said "O honey, you are around  9cm".  Um, what? My initial thought was it was too late for my epidural and I would have to do this naturally and I kind of thought I was going to die. Then I thought, we are going to have this baby before anyone even gets here.  She told me that they would try to get my epidural still but that the anesthesiologist was about 45 minutes out.  I called my Mom (who was on her way) and told her "Don't freak out but I am 9cm and still haven't had an epidural" and then I think I cried because that is what happens when I am upset and talk to my Mom.

At this point things started getting hazy. I remember the anesthesiologist finally getting there and I barely remember getting the epidural (which is ironic because it was the thing I was most terrified about prior to actually being in labor). I never even saw the anesthesiologist's face because I was in a place where time and people did not exist. It was 9am, I had only been there three hours.

Once the epidural kicked in I was a completely different person! I was laughing and joking and thought I could have 20 babies at this rate.  My parents got there and I was on cloud nine, my baby was coming, my parents were here, and I was feeling 0 on the pain scale.

The on call doctor came to check me and ordered me to be put on pitocin...why? I have no idea. My nurses told me I could begin to push and thus began 30 minutes of  literally being moved into every position imaginable. After 30 minutes the doctor came back and ordered my epidural to be turned off. This was not explained to me so imagine my surprise when all of a sudden my back labor pains began to start up again.

The next two hours were more painful that I EVER could have imagined.  I was convinced I was being torn apart.  In our birthing class we talked about "traumatic pain". I mostly tuned all of this out because I was convinced that I would have my epidural so it wouldn't apply to me, but that was the best explanation for what I went through.  It also didn't help that the on call doctor was the Jillian Michaels of OB doctors.  She yelled at me and told me that if I didn't push harder I would have a C-section. She ordered everyone in the room to shut up. She told me "THERE IS NO CAN'T IN MY DELIVERY ROOM". I do not deal well with "tough love" and I was awfully tempted to just stop pushing at that point had it not been bad for the baby.

I don't know if there is a way to describe what happened next. I turned primal. There were screams. There was SO MUCH PAIN. Yet, at the same time, I went to a place inside of me where pain no longer existed and it was almost like this was happening to someone else. I just wanted him out of me!

The next thing I remember is pretty much everyone in the room saying "look! look!". In one second I went from the most pain I had ever felt to absolutly no pain whatsoever.  I saw my baby for the first time.

There was a part of me that had been scared my whole pregnancy that I wouldn't recognize my baby..I spent so much time worrying what he would look like. The second I saw him it was simply
"of course'. I instantly knew him. H

Jared cut the cord (am I the only one who was still a little scared that would hurt?) and I got to hold my baby...finally.

I am so thankful for our nurse who picked up our camera and started shooting. We were in love.

 

Hudson Jude Poole was born Aug 31 2013 weighing 7lb 6 oz and was 20 inches long.

 His Daddy was crazy about him.

You think you might understand the love you will feel beforehand, but my life can literally be summed up into before Hudson and after Hudson.  He is my everything.

Surving the Third Trimester

1. The Happiest Baby on The Block DVD: It took the third trimester for me to realize that I needed to do SOME research on what to do when the baby got here.  This helped so much in the newborn days! I read the book but I knew the only way to get Jared onboard was to watch the DVD.

2. Tums: I never had heartburn in my life until I got pregnant. I had to actually google my symptoms. As soon as Hudson was born I could feel my body go back to normal.

3. Fan: I have never been as hot as I was while pregnant. I had a desk fan blowing on me all day long then I came home I turned on my osculating fan.

4. Notebooks: Pregnancy brain is a real thing and therefore I made around 1,297 lists. To Do list for the nursery, what to pack, what to buy, who to call when I went into labor.

5. Stretchy Dresses: This was all I wore towards the end. Luckily it was the Summer but this could also work with legging and a cardigan.

Valentine's Day Wish List

1. Philosophy Love Sweet Love

2. Love is in the Air Tee

3. The Trouble with Valentine's Day

4. Heart Socks

5. Heart Boxers

6. Julep Nail Polish

DIY Maternity Photos

Step 1: Beg a friend to take your picture

Step 2: Show off your belly

Step 3: Make sure you catch the magical time where you definitely look pregnant  but the rest of your body hasn't swelled up (22-30 weeks or so)

Step 4: Make sure and look both ecstatic about your bundle of joy and thoughtful about the future

Surving the Second Trimester

1. Prenatal Yoga: This is what I WISH I would have done...the first trimester I was too sick and the third trimester I was too everything. The second trimester is perfect for exercise...my only excuse is laziness.

2. Paint: If you plan to help paint the nursery (using safety precautions) this is the ideal time to do it.

3. Fitted T-shirts: This is the trimester you are at your cutest...you are past the whole looking like you ate an entire pizza stage and you should show off your belly.

4. Kashi Bars: Once my morning sickness (all day sickness) was gone I was starving! These are a healthy snack.

5. Beach Bag: Babymoon! This is the best time for it and it is so important to have some downtime together before baby makes 3.

6. Body Pillow: Don't wait until you are miserable...you can get one for $10 at Target and it is life changing! I carried mine around from the couch to the bed and still use it.

7. Bio Oil: I slathered this on and still got stretch marks but I think this helped prevent them for as long as possible.

Pinterst Favorites 1.0

So there is this website...you might have heard of it...it is called Pinterest. I spend WAY too much time on it and I usually consult it on all aspects of life.  Here are some of my favorites from the past week:

OBSESSED with these concrete counters.  We have plans to replace ours eventually but for under $50, I think these will be a great update until then.

This made me laugh way too hard.

I am 90% sure I would not be able to pull these off...challenge accepted.

I ask myself this on a daily basis...

This ceiling officially has me excited to start on Hudson's playroom. So far I envision grey walls, silver stars on the ceiling, a chalkboard wall, and lots of bright colors.

Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

For the first 15 weeks I was pregnant I was convinced I was pregnant with a girl.

It wasn't that I didn't WANT a boy...but everyone on my Mom's side of the family had a girl first.  I had the name picked out, I had the nursery planned, and I imagined a life filled with Barbie dolls and hair bows.

One week before my gender ultrasound I had the clearest dream of my life, I was laying on the exam table and the ultrasound technician declared "It's A Boy"!  When I woke up I just KNEW my subconscious was telling me something and I am ashamed to admit I felt a little sad.  I wasn't going to have my little girl who loved Disney Princesses (at least not yet) and all of a sudden I had NO idea what I would do with a boy.

The day of our ultrasound might have been the most nerve wrecking day of my life...I spent the whole day worrying about our baby...all of a sudden I could care less about the gender...I just wanted he or she to be healthy.

When they finally called us back I remember praying please let there be a heart beat, please let there be a heart beat. The ultrasound technician asked us what we thought it would be and I said I think it is a boy but everyone else thinks it's a girl. As soon as the image popped up on the screen I immediately looked for the tiny flash that indicated my baby's heart. At the exact same moment that I spotted it (and let out the breath I had been holding) I heard  the ultrasound technician say "look's like Mama knows best" and I heard Jared laugh.

We had plans after the appointment to go to Target (because duh it's Target) and I spent the car ride there really letting everything sink in. My baby was healthy! It was not the little girl I originally planned.  What would I do with a boy? Jared parked the car and I started crying...I do that when I am overcome with happiness or sadness and in that second I was feeling both.  BUT, the second I opened the car door I was in love with my baby boy. Jared and I each picked something out (he picked out rocker socks and I picked out dinosaur hats) and then we went and ate Mexican (because that is how we celebrate everything...with queso!).

That weekend was Easter weekend so we filled Easter eggs with blue robin's eggs candy and had our family open them. Everyone was super excited and I think that once they knew it started to feel real.

I spent the rest of my pregnancy worried about being a "boy mom".  I was worried I wouldn't know what to do.  I love football and baseball and being outside but I don't know much about cars or super heroes.

The instant I met my son, NONE of that mattered.

I am crazy about a little boy named Hudson Jude and I have no idea what I would do with a girl now.  I CANNOT wait to build forts and play legos.  I LOVE buying boy clothes and tiny basketball goals.  I look FORWARD to playing in the dirt and going to baseball games.  He is quite the Mama's boy right now and love it all!

I don't know why I ever doubt what God has planned for me.  The second I got pregnant, he knew a little boy would change my life.

Winter Favorites

1. Karen Moning's Fever Series: This is my favorite book series of all time...kind of a grown up Hunger Games meets Twilight only not really... I read it every Winter!

2. Fresh Sugar Rose Lip Balm: I got this a few years ago as my free birthday gift from Sephora and I was skeptical of the price but it is the only thing that helps when my lips are super chapped.

3. Floral Scarf: When I start to have a sore throat I put on a scarf and I swear it helps! Target recently had their scarves 50% off and I picked up a pretty teal floral one, I wasn't able to find it but I am awfully tempted to add this one to my collection. It also helps hide the baby belly.

4. Suede Boots: I scored these boots at Target on Black Friday for $25 and I am loving them! They are really more of a cognac color and kind of look like the real deal...plus the inside is super soft.

5. Magic Blanket: I got this blanket on sale last year and accidentally got a twin size instead of the throw size...it is massive but I LOVE it and have referred to it as "magic blanket" ever since.

6. Philosophy Homemade Honey Buns Shower Gel and Bubble Bath: Something about the cold always makes me want to smell like baked goods.

Living a life of INTENTION

(New Year's Eve 2012...aka the last New Year's Eve not spent in my pajamas)

Happy belated 2014! I have been following along with Lara Casey's 2014 Goal Setting Series and I have simplified my New Year's resolution into one word...intention.  In particular, I want to be more intentional with my time and my attitude.

Time management has always been a challenge for me but having a baby has made it that much harder. It is so difficult to find the balance between chores (babies produce a LOT of dirty laundry) and making sure I am soaking up as much quality time as possible with my little mister. 

I want to make sure that I am using my time in a way that makes the most sense for our family.  For instance, instead of washing bottles the second we get home (when Hudson is normally awake) I could spend that time playing with him and wash bottles during nap time.  It is so easy to get into a routine that doesn't necessarily make sense and I want to really review how I am spending my time and make some changes.

I also want to be more intentional with my attitude.  I want more JOY in my everyday life...I want to dance while washing dishes and sing while folding laundry. 

I highly recommend participating in the goal setting series! There are several steps that help you to evaluate the previous year and envision the future.  I have around 20 smaller goals that I hope to implement but I felt like living a life of intention kind of encompasses them all.  

I want to soak up every moment of life right now and sometimes that is sweeping the kitchen floor and changing 7 diapers a day...being intentional with my time and attitude ensures that I get the "must do's" done so I can fully enjoy the fun stuff!

Surving the First Trimester

1. The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy: For someone that is obsessed with researching everything and who bought around 20 used pregnancy books BEFORE becoming pregnant, I really didn't read very many of them.  This one, however, was really good.

2. Belly Band: I started using this at 8 weeks and I still sometimes use it four months post partum...especially on Thanksgiving!

3. Sprite: There is something so comforting about it when you are sick. ALSO, caffeine free.

4. Ginger oil: I had some of this left over from our Alaskan cruise and I would carry it everywhere I went and sniff it when I felt sick...not weird at all.

5. Raw Almonds: I am pretty certain that this is the one food that didn't make me feel nauseated.

6. Sea Bands: Apparently they have a Mama version now, I bought the original and I don't know if it really helps or causes a placebo effect but these worked for me.  Plus, you are only one headband away from an 80's jazzercise video!

The Test

Last Christmas was a hard one.

My Grandma had just had her second surgery in one month and because of that we had decided to postpone our family Christmas by a week. Jared and I were officially "trying" and I woke up that morning so full of hope. I was POSITIVE that I was pregnant and I had patiently waited all week to take the test. I spent three minutes planning how I would tell Jared, how I would tell my parents, and most of all how to tell Grandma. I practically skipped over to the test...negative. What? That can't be right...checked again...negative.

Jared and I had quite a few obstacles (healthwise) that had caused us to delay trying to conceive up until this point and I was just so positive that all of that happened JUST so that we would be able to share our news for Christmas. I had built it up in my head like a dramatic movie...which I tend to do a lot...so when the reality did not live up to my expectations I was more than a little disappointed. I wallowed...and pouted...and did not feel the Christmas cheer I should have felt.

A few days later we got the news that Grandma would need ANOTHER surgery...a big one...a life changing one. I spent the next few days in shock and worry and honestly forgot about anything except for that. The day of her surgery I started to wonder...what if? No...the test was negative...but maybe? I went to the hospital right after work and stayed with Grandma for several hours. Finally around 9pm I got home and immediately grabbed one of the many tests I had stocked up on and shut myself in the bathroom...it was a very different feeling from the week before, no hopeful daydreams...in fact I am pretty sure I spent the time playing on my phone. After 5 minutes, I turned around to where I had placed the test and there clear as day was my positive. I was in shock. Then joy. Then disbelief. It was quite a mix of emotions.

 I KNEW I would not be able to wait to tell Jared so I quickly tried to think of SOMETHING exciting to do. I went and grabbed my camera and started taking random pictures around the house (why he didn't think this was odd at 9 PM I have no idea) and eventually of him. He was not happy about that at all and I so I asked him if he was still mad now and handed him the test.

So when my Grandma was probably at her lowest, when my whole family was feeling down, I was able to share the wonderful news that she was going to have her first Great Grandbaby. It was one of the happiest moments of my life and I feel like it gave her the motivation she needed to get through the extremely hard weeks and months that followed.

A few months later I was cleaning out my bathroom cabinets and I found the original pregnancy test I had taken on Christmas weekend...it was positive...I simply did not wait long enough.

I truly believe it was "A God Thing" that I did not wait long enough for the first test and that I got pregnant when I did. It gave our entire family hope when we probably needed it the most.